Does real love exist, or do we create the meaning of love through our experiences?
This question is the central theme to the movie (500) Days of Summer; a film that is marketed as part of the chick-flick and romantic comedy vein, but actually contains many elements that decontruct the cliches usually prevelant in the genre.
I'm bringing up this film because after watching it I realized how extraordinarily relevant the main dilemma of the films two main characters is to this generation of young adults and college students.
Anyone who thinks students go to college just to learn or to get a degree is wrong, or at least only half right. The other half of the reason: relationships.
Students today, guy or gal, want to explore relationships. They want to have a vibrant social network of friends and acquaintances, and at the non-platonic end of the spectrum many of them want to find love and romance with that special "someone." Next to time in front of the computer or text messaging you can bet relationships comes in at a close second on how students spend their time...school work is usually in fourth or fifth...sleep is maybe at number eight.
This should come as no surprise. Ever since they were in diapers the media and culture have told this generation that not only is "true love" out there, but that it is something everyone deserves and eventually finds--you need only confer with the plot of the nearest Disney movie, Twilight novel, or superhero film to confirm this point. At the same time, this generation has also been told that truth is relative, and that abstract things, like love, hope, and faith are socially constructed. Herein lies the current existential dilemma: is love real, or is love just an illusion? Can love be found, or are we left to find our own way?
The answer is yes and no. Love isn't the googly-eyed infatuation we find in the Edward Cullen's of the world, or the commitment-free-evening-rendezvous-lifestyle we find in shows like Sex in the City or Desperate Housewives. Love is not just the gushing and fawning exasperation of our hormone-laden youth. Love is real. But the "love" many of us look for is not; it's plain fiction.
Real love is not found, it finds us...to put it better it has found us.
"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." --1 John 4:9-11
To understand real love students need to encounter real love: the love of God. We're being fed a fictional tale of "real" love in the world because much of the world still lives with a "fictional" understanding of history. The real story of history--involving the manifestation of God in the person Jesus Christ, who died and was raised to save us from our sin, so that we might live with Him forever--is the only way through which any of us can come to know what love really is or what it really means. Because, at the end of the day, if love wasn't knit into the fabric of humanity purposefully, if it isn't a blessing endowed to us by a creator of the same nature, if love isn't necessary and vital to our identity, then what's the point? At some point even a bloodthirsty sex-crazed vampire teen would have to pause and ask what love is all about.
That's one of the reason's why Rachel and I are going through the "Transformed Student Document" with students. The TSD is a helpful tool that breaks down the fundamental attributes of a transformed disciple into five categories.
- Loving Christ Intimately
- Viewing the World Biblically
- Living Obediently
- Joining Christ in the Restoration of Creation
- Inviting Others to do Likewise
I think it's also important to remember that love isn't just a feeling, it's a choice. That aspect is the one most often lost in our media and culture. Sure, that initial attraction/excitement is a part of love, but when it fades into a quieter intimacy, we have to actually work at it. Sometimes it's harder, sometimes it's easier, but it is always rewarding (I find).
ReplyDeleteGreat idea of discussion with the students, by the way. =)
amazing entry!!
ReplyDeleteAnother important point is that one key aspect, definition, or byproduct of love is putting the beloved first and often sacrificing your own desires for his or her needs, desires, and comfort. Pop media often glorifies the opposite of that: self-seeking is the standard and characters often "get the girl" without exerting themselves or paying the (real) prices of patience, friendship, service, sensitivity, humility, meekness, forgiveness, perseverance, etc. That lesson is also pertinent to learning about how to love Christ. While He loves us freely and infinitely, the more we learn those Christlike attributes, the closer we come unto Him the more abundantly we feel His love. But I guess you already taught that lesson :) Oh well, still true!
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeleteThank you to everyone commenting, your insights are very poignant and helpful :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, thank you for reading :)